I always thought that true friends have some specific qualities.
1) They are always there for you.
2) You can be completely relaxed around then and you can trust them with anything.
3) They support you no matter what.
4) They always tell you the truth in matters, even if the truth hurts.
Three out of those four really aren’t that difficult to uphold. Basically it’s about being a nice person…The fourth on the other hand.
Being brutally honest is really hard, the more you care about the person the harder it is I find. We’re afraid to hurt the other person if we tell them what we really think, not really thinking about the fact if we don’t we might not be doing any good either.
Just the other day I told a friend…or acquaintance rather…that I thought he should leave his girlfriend, get over her and go for someone his own age.
A bit harsh you might think, but then again, she’s 20 he’s 30 and she’s been leaving him and going back to him more times then any person should.
I basically told him she wasn’t right for him, at all… I was a bit nervous about how he’d react, but he took it ok and I felt much better afterwards.
We did get into an argument about whether or not a 20 year old can be as mature as a 30 year old. He says that what you experience when you’re young and in your teens makes you mature in different ways. I say that’s true but there are so many levels of maturity and so many different kinds.
I haven’t really managed to tell Jake what I really think yet…but I’m working on it. It’s just that I’m afraid I’ll piss him off. There’s a fine line between being honest and just sounding rude I think. It might still only be the truth, but you have to be careful not to make it come out wrong.
I just want to tell him that it’s time to stop sitting around. He’s complaining a lot about how he never has a proper day. He sleeps in really late and then he stays up half the night. I think it’s very simple, go to bed in time and get up earlier…but he doesn’t seem to want to hear it. He’s also complaining about all the things he needs to do, I’m wondering what. The only thing he needs to do is, get himself set up with a couple of agencies…that’s it, also occasionally help out around the house, but he seems to think that he has millions of things to do. I wish I could just tell him to get over it and start doing things instead of just saying “I know I need to do it” and then turn around and play some more computer.
Same with kin tbh. I know and I understand about being depressed and not wanting to deal with anything. But it gets to the point when it’s hard to be sensetive about it. I know that things get so much better if you can just get over yourself (in lack of a better way to put it) and just get up and about. Just acknowledge that you’re feeling like crap and move on. But if I tell kin that to his face he’ll probably not take that to well…the best thing is if he gets to that realisation himself but, just telling him that now won’t make a difference any way…it’s hard just standing by and watching it as well.
My goal is to at some point be able to always be brutally honest with them both without being afraid of how they’ll react. Of course there are always some things no one needs to hear…but you know what I mean…
